Learning From Experience

An Interview

By Hazel Freeman

“I have so many things I’m glad I did.”

I don’t know about you, but personally, this is how I want to look back at my life in fifty or sixty years’ time. My grandmother has always been a positive woman, so it’s no surprise that she can remember all of the things she is proud of. When asked, “What do you have that is the opposite of a regret?”, she delivered, as she usually does. 

There are so many things she’s glad she did, while meanwhile, the future is still hanging in the balance, along with millions of teens’ future careers and families and endeavors. It can be scary to have no idea what’s going to happen, and sometimes I wish that I’ve already lived through my experiences so I can look back at them with nostalgia instead of uncertainty. 

But my grandmother and her positivity have taught me that one of my best privileges is time. She’s taught me that I have my whole life ahead of me. That is a gift; something I shouldn’t take for granted. The unknown is overwhelming, and it’s not like she hasn’t experienced it; as you’ll see, she hid under her desk for nuclear bomb drills when she was in school. The difference between us is that she’s lived through the future, which has now become the past, and she can teach me about it. 

What is something that you've done that you're proud of?

I was an elected official on the borough council for 10 years and helped to run the place where I live.

What is an important place or thing from your childhood?

I used to live in Florida for two months a year from the time I was four till the time I finished first grade. That was a very special place during my childhood. 

Do you have a lot of memories from there? 

Yes. I lived in a house on stilts in the ocean and it was wonderful.

Do you think there's hope for the newest generation? 

Absolutely. There’s hope for the Gen Alpha, but also, for everybody. I think everybody thinks that the time they're living in is the hardest and the worst. But I don't think that's true. I think that they'll be great. I think they'll learn from what everybody else has done. I think they will improve on so much. I think everything will be fine for them. 

I really do. Do you not think so?

It’s not the people themselves I don’t have hope in. I'm worried about the environment and the politics we've created. This might be a pessimistic worldview, but it's a little scary. I fear we're teetering on the edge of another world war. 

I get what you're saying, Hazel, but I've teetered in this situation before.

Have you lived through a war? 

No, I was born right after.

You're not that old. 

No, I am not that old. But when I was younger, during the Cold War, we used to practice hiding under our desks for nuclear attacks. 

Who or what inspired younger you?

That's a very hard question. It’s awful; I can't think of anything that inspired me. There were not any particular teachers, not any particular people. 

Would you say that you inspired yourself? Like you had an idea and you followed through with it.

I hear what you’re saying.

You were driven by yourself.

No, I don't think that's true. There were so many, so many people that inspired me. I got a little bit of inspiration from all kinds of different people, but there wasn't one major person.

That’s a great answer. We’re all built out of little pieces of other people.

What did you want to do when you were growing up? How different is it from what you're doing now or what you did before you retired? 

When I was growing up, I loved math. I have always loved math. I wanted to do something with math, and I ended up working with computers. 

That’s sort of close.

It is very close. They didn't have computer science back then. When you got out of college, if you had a math major, the computer people hired you right away. 

Was that work fulfilling for you?

I don't know about fulfilling.

Was it boring?

Oh, no, it was fun. I really loved it. But fulfilling would be like saving somebody's life. This was working with numbers, and it was not that. It wasn’t fulfilling, but I really enjoyed it. 

I think that's one definition of fulfilling, right? You were satisfied. 

Yeah, I guess you're right.

How has the creation of the internet changed your relationship with media, technology, or even people? How has it changed the way you live?

I love the internet. It’s like living in the library. If you want to learn how to do something, anything you want, you can do that. Somewhere out there, you can find out how to do it. Where it's bad is when people are mean on the internet. I don't understand that. I don't understand why the internet brings meanness out in people. That’s the horrible part. But you can learn so much.

What’s one thing you've done that's the opposite of a regret?

I have so many things I'm glad I did. I'm glad I had children. I'm glad that I had a job that I love. I love where I live. There’s so many things. I'm glad I've gone on so many wonderful fun trips.

What would your advice be for kids or teens now? What would your advice be to allow them to live a life where they have a lot of things that they don't regret doing? 

Get to know yourself. Think about what you like, what you know, what your morals are, what your interests are. Be true to yourself and don't listen to other people. If people are mean to you, don't pay any attention to them. Just go on and do what's important for you.