From Finding Her True Passion, to Becoming a Single Mother, to Being the Best Grandma Ever
An Interview
By Keenan Cerra
My grandma was a unique person who faced many struggles throughout her life, often because of her own actions. She had to overcome a divorce and learn to be a single mom. She had to realize her dream of being an actress might not be what she wanted to pursue. But she also had to deal with things beyond her reach, like fighting for women's rights and against prejudice her entire life. She has taught me to be creative and always strive for what I want to do.
Who is someone who you looked up to when you were younger?
I was in awe of Anne Frank. I read her diary when I was 14. It was the first time I became aware of what happened to people during World War II. I was born in the middle of the war. 1943. By the time I was 14, the war had been over several years and nobody was talking about it anymore. One day, there was a special on TV about the Holocaust. It included live footage of the liberation of the camps. To see what the people actually looked like devastated me. Our culture started talking about the Holocaust openly, and I read the Diary of Anne Frank. It blew me away. There is one line I still remember. She was my age, about 13 or 14; she'd been living in hiding for a long time at this point. And she said, “I still believe people are really good at heart.” I can’t think how hard it must have been, after all she went through, to still have faith. She was inspiring.
Is there anyone else you admired?
Elvis Presley, because he was a rebel. It was interesting to have a person making music that more closely represented how we younger people felt.
What is a dream that you wanted to follow? If you did follow that dream, what happened?
Later in life, my dream was to become a landscape architect. It took a lot of hard work and persistence. I learned that if you want something and you stick to it, you’ll get it. You’ve gotta work hard, but it's sticking to something that finally gets you there. When I was studying landscape architecture in college, I was constantly surrounded by people on the same path, with the same dream – some with more talent and more knowledge than myself. But then I watched them let the smallest things discourage them. It shocked me to see people drop away so easily and completely. Believe in yourself and stick to it.
Before that, for a long time, I wanted to be an actress. I was empathetic and good at speaking; I could get into a role and make people cry. I wanted to do that professionally. But there must have been reasons I didn’t stick with. I'm now glad I didn’t continue on that path. My skills of being empathic and being a good listener and speaker work well with landscape nature – even though I didn't know any of that when I chose my career. I decided to be a landscape architect because I loved working with plants, which is only a small part of the job.
How are things different today from when you were younger?
We all went to school together. We had neighborhood schools and we all went to the one that was closest to us. Rich people, poor people, and people in between all went to the same school together. It created more diverse communities and enriched our school experience. I don't think that happens as much today.
How did being a part of the women’s rights movement impact you?
We have been fighting for the equal rights of women from the time I was a high school student to now. It’s a never-ending movement. When I was married to your grandpa, Steve, and before Paul and David were born, Steve was a full-time student in school. He was earning a master's in history. I was working full-time to support us. I was the only one who had a salary. We went to our favorite department store and applied for credit, but they wouldn't give it to me in my name. They put the credit card in Steve’s name and I got a copy of it that said Mrs. Steven Cerra. But I was the one who was going to pay all the bills. It infuriated me.
We – women – did not get the right to buy something on our own credit or to own a house until 1974. We didn’t have the right to control our own bodies – to say, ‘I'm not ready to have a child yet, so I'm going to take precautions’ – until Roe v. Wade was passed in 1973, giving a woman to terminate a pregnancy that she didn't want or couldn't carry.
So much of that is being peeled back now. This new generation of politicians is trying to remove other rights we’ve gained. I've learned that democracy is a project. It's not a thing that is done. It's something that you have to take care of, that you have to constantly stand up for. It's never over. No fight is ever over, because if you want something and you have enemies who don't want you to have it, they don't give up. So you can't give up either.
What was one of the greatest challenges you faced? How did you overcome or grow from it?
It was realizing that I had not married well; that I couldn't fix my marriage and had to leave. That decision made me a grown-up. I already had children. I called myself a grown-up. But that decision made me grow a lot because then everything was on me. I made a lot of mistakes. I learned from every one of them. I'm a better human being for having made that change and faced everything it brought. If I hadn't taken that step, I don't think I would even like myself today. To stand up and take responsibility made everything possible for me.
What is one piece of advice you have for the next generations?
Be curious, continue to learn, and be willing to learn even if it means making errors. My best quality is a passion for learning, and if you've got that, then you can make it through anything.
